


Searching for a form of clarity

by Wildrivver



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Grantaire & Jean Prouvaire Friendship, Jehan might be a witch, M/M, Non-Binary Jean Prouvaire, Pre-Relationship, Tarot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24126643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wildrivver/pseuds/Wildrivver
Summary: Grantaire isn’t sure if Enjolras has feeling for him, or if he is just fooling himself. Jehan offers to do a tarot reading for him.
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	Searching for a form of clarity

**Author's Note:**

> We’re in lockdown so I bought a tarot deck and thought it might be fun to use it as a narrative prompt. I am new to Tarot, so I am sorry for any inaccuracies.
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> The Tarot deck I used, and therefore the one Jehan owns, is The Fountain Tarot. The interpretations were taken from the book that comes with the deck and that is what Jehan quotes and paraphrases during their reading. I do not own them and use them simply as a narrative prompt.  
> For further notes on the deck and how I drew the cards and wrote the story see the end notes.
> 
> Title inspired by the Against Me! Album, “Searching for a former clarity”

The sound of Jehan’s tea spoon chiming against their cup as they stirred their tea calmed Grantaire. He took a sip from his own cup and allowed himself to sink into the deep cushions on Jehan’s sofa.

“You seem tense,” Jehan observed with a soft smile.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind,” Grantaire admitted.

“I’m here if you want someone to talk to about it.”

“I don’t even know where I would start,” he shrugged.

Jehan remained quiet and they sat for a while in peaceful silence. The tea warmed him and he felt safe and relaxed in Jehan’s presence. He began to mull over his thoughts, wondering how to explain them.

“I guess I just want a clearer idea of where I stand with Enjolras. I feel like we’re both dancing around something but neither of us is willing to make a move. Sometimes I tell myself that it’s fine to see where things go, it will work itself out eventually if it’s meant to be, but at other times I feel like I’m delusional and there’s no way Enjolras has feeling for me. I’m scared that if I put any pressure on it he’ll reject me and I’ll lose what we do have.”

Jehan leaned forward and placed their hand on top of Grantaire’s. “You know that would never happen, right? Enjolras does care for you. I see it in the way he watches you when he knows you’re not looking.”

Grantaire felt his face grow warm at the thought of Enjolras watching him. “That’s just the way my brain works, I guess,” he said, turning the conversation back to the issue at hand. “It always focuses on the worst.”

Jehan looked at him thoughtfully and leaned over to retrieve a small box from the coffee table. They settled back down, cross legged, facing Grantaire. “Would you like me to do a reading for you?” they asked, taking a well worn deck of card from the box and beginning to shuffle them. “I always find that it helps to give me a new perspective on things.”

Grantaire didn’t scoff at the suggesting, he knew Jehan was being entirely sincere, but he also didn’t think a pack of card held the answer to his problems. Jehan, who was familiar with his scepticism, gave him a smile as they fanned the cards out on the cushion between them.

“You don’t need to believe in it for it to be helpful. Think of it as a tool to help direct your thoughts.”

Grantaire gave a sigh of resignation. “So what do I do?” he asked.

“We’ll do three cards, one for you, one for Enjolras and one for your relationship. How does that sound?” Grantaire just nodded. “So, just take your time, feel which cards you are drawn to, there’s no rush. Draw three and place them in front of you.”

Grantaire was surprised to find he was nervous as he contemplated the cards before him. He still didn’t believe in any kind of magic or spiritual power at work here, but what if the cards told him it was pointless for him to have gotten his hopes up and he should just give up. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to crash back down to reality quite yet.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and let his fingers drift across the cards until he felt brave enough to pull one free.

“Place it in front of you and draw two more,” Jehan prompted. He did as instructed, leaving the card face down and turned back to the spread. The next card he selected for the simple reason that when Jehan had spread them out it had gotten caught on the cushion and so was sticking out more prominently, like it was asking to be chosen. Then, just to be fair, the final one he drew from a clump which had stuck together. “Great. Now, in your own time, turn over the first one. This is the one that represents you.”

Grantaire wasn’t sure how he felt about a card he had picked at random saying something about him. He hesitated for a moment, his finger tapping on the back, before finally flipping it face up.

A single golden disk floated above a garden of green leaves. Grantaire was instantly drawn to the style of paining, the blurred strokes lending the image a dream like quality. He wanted to ask Jehan about the artist before he remembered what they were in the middle of and made a mental note to do it later. The text below the image read “Ace of Coins”.

“Interesting,” Jehan observed thoughtfully.

“What?” He asked, chewing his lip nervously. “You’re going to have to help me out here. I don’t understand what any of this means.”

“The Ace of Coins brings with it an opportunity for something new. As well as contentment and a reminder to stay grounded,” Jehan reflected as they regarded the card.

“And that’s supposed to be me is it? I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I think you cards are broken. You know I am more a lazy creature of habit who is never content with anything except maybe a good meal and a strong drink.”

“You have a tendency to see the worst in yourself as well as situations, you know,” Jehan soothed. “You call yourself things like selfish and stupid, when in fact I have only ever seen evidence that the opposite is true. The reverse meanings of this card include indulgence to excess, anxiety, instability; all things that I know yow have been working to overcome this past year. No, I think it has it right and you will be the inspiration for something new.”

Grantaire felt exposed, like Jehan was able to see deep into his soul. But he trusted Jehan deeply, so he nodded and moved to turn over the second card. The one for Enjolras.

Half of the card was black and half was white. A man held the reins of two horses. “The Chariot VII”. Jehan instantly laughed out loud making Grantaire jump back in surprise.

“It’s just so on the nose,” they explained. “And I quote ‘Focus, unshakable determination and an intense will to harness the host of opposing forces’ need I go on?”

“It’s just a coincidence,” Grantaire replied, but he was smiling as he shook his head and Jehan knew he was saying it in good humour.

“It can also relate to a journey of self discovery. He might have a little way to go just yet, but he’s thinking about it. I think things are taking a little while longer to surface in his mind than in yours.”

“Is that the cards speaking or you?” Grantaire accused with a laugh.

Jehan simply tilted their head to one side and tucked a stand of coppery hair behind their ear. “Who can say?” they replied innocently. “Why don’t you turn the final card and we’ll see what it has to add.”

Shaking his head again he did as instructed. A young boy sat beside a clear cube. On the cube sat a bowl of water. The boy was gazing into it, thoughtfully. “Page of Cups”

Jehan smiled deeply. “Pages represent a new stage and cups link directly to relationships. This one seems clear to me. The page in young and unsure of himself but he has a child’s curiosity.” There was a pause as Jehan straightened up the three cards into a neat row, so that Grantaire could contemplate them, and gathered together the rest of the deck. “Do you need me to clarify further on that, or are you ok thinking it over for yourself?” they asked, hands once again shuffling the deck with an ease that spoke of old familiarity.

“No, I think I got it,” Grantaire muttered. He was playing with his lip as he looking over the images, feeling how their meanings stacked up. “Is it stupid if I let myself believe it?” he asked quietly.

“The meanings aren’t always so clear and they have many layers, some of which aren’t apparent until later when you can reflect back on them. But I feel like this one hasn’t told you anything you didn’t know already. It’s just presented itself to you in a way you can see more clearly.”

“Do you mi...can I take a picture on my phone?” Grantaire asked nervously.

“Sure, whatever you want.” They got to their feet and went to put the kettle back on.

Grantaire took a picture of the cards on his phone so that he could think on it later and then picked up the deck Jehan had left on the sofa. He began looking through them, holding them with as much care as he would any piece of art. Because they _were_ art, and layered meanings in art was something he was familiar with.

Jehan returned with two fresh cups of tea. Grantaire finally asked Jehan about the art on their cards. They talked until it was late and as Grantaire walked back to his flat in the darkness of the evening he felt he had found some sort of clarity in his thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first half of the story before I knew what the cards were going to be, because knowing in advance felt like cheating. The cards Grantaire drew are ones that I drew myself for the purpose of writing this story. I thought if I made them up it might not feel genuine and then I pulled cards which summed up their pre-relationship perfectly (at least I felt so).
> 
> This was a really fun experiment and I think I might make this a series, where various characters request readings from Jehan. If you have a request or an idea for what one of the characters might want to ask please leave it in a comment.
> 
> If you are interested in getting your own deck I highly recommend The Fountain Tarot. The art work is amazing and the descriptions for the cards are in depth and easy to follow. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed it please leave a kudos/comment.


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